Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
