He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize