You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
