my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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