Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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