What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
