can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
