I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize