I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
