I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
