It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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