last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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