I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
