I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
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i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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