my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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