After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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