"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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