Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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