Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
