i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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