Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
