I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
