I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
