He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
