He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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