so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
