operation have a gay friend backfired
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
