Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
