Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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