and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
