the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
