Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
