i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
