New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
