i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
