you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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