i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
