Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
