I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
