Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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