i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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