At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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