i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
