A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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