I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize