do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
