you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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