Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
