3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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