If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
