Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
