One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
