sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
