How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
