Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
