Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
