ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.