He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.