If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
