new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters