Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need a beard to bite.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?