I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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