The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
PANTIES FOUND
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