Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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