Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How drunk are you??

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm flawless.

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(239): View more from Florida

Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(212): View more from New York

There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.

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(518): View more from New York

I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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(661): View more from California

my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

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(310): View more from California

If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.

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