Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money