I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
