she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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