So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
