Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You smell like a Billy Joel song
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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