I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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