That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
