dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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