Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
