he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
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You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?